Ep 26. The Reality of Talent

There will always be people who are better than you. They are more talented, they learn faster, they seemingly succeed more than you and everybody else. Our brain thinks this a problem. But it’s a problem you can’t solve. You can’t make it so there is never anyone better than you.
I offer you three tips to deal with this.
1–Accept it. Accept that there are people better than you. It’s a fact. Resisting it won’t make it go away. Fighting it will backfire. Just accept it.
2–Ask yourself, “SO WHAT?!” What does their talent, abilities, success, have to do with you? It’s not rhetorical. Answer the question. Why is that a problem FOR YOU? You are making it mean something. What are you making it mean about you and your success?
Are you making it mean that you are limited? You won’t get what you want? That you’re flawed? That it means it’s going to be harder for you? So what? Do you still want this?
3–Question what you are believing. That meaning you just gave for why this is a problem for you–question it. Is it true? Really, really true? What if it is? Are they really the reason you might not get what you want? Be honest.
Additionally, I offer that there are 3 stages you might move through as you deal with other people being more talented than you.
Stage 1–Ignore them. Don’t watch, don’t pay attention, let it go over and over again. Whenever your mind wants to focus on them, redirect it. “They aren’t relevant to me.”
Stage 2–Redirect your focus to yourself. Make it all about you. Focus on your skills, growth, development. But also focus on what makes you amazing. What are your talents? What are your strengths? How have you grown? How far have you come? Use this stage to understand at a deeper level your own strengths, talents and abilites. This will prepare you for stage 3.
Stage 3– Let them inspire you. Once you know you are ENOUGH and have plenty of talent of your own, you won’t be so threatened by the talent of others. Then you can learn all you can from them. Soak it in! Find what they are doing that works so well and try to apply what feels like you. How fortunate you are to have someone to inspire you to more. This is not a problem! It’s strategy!
Lastly, notice how when you focus on them, believing they are better, that you are held back or that something has gone wrong for you, that you feel smaller. You retreat a little, you feel defeated and jealous, and none of it is doing anything good for your dancing.
But when you see you are talented, skilled, always learning and growing, believe you are good enough, be inspired by good dancers around you, and understand you will never miss out on something meant for you, that this positive energy WILL add to your dancing.
Your choice for how you want to approach it. I know what I would choose.



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Hi there,

I'm Amber haider

As an amateur ballroom dancer myself, I understand the issues that come up for dancers, the pressures of competing, and the desire to make the most of my ballroom experience. I also really like to WIN! As a Life Coach by vocation, I have the tools to cut through the mental garbage that is holding you back so that you can maximize your potential. Using my own tools, I have been able to skyrocket my own skills, learn faster, lessen the pressure, win more and have tons more fun. I can show you the way. Here’s a couple tools to get you started:

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