Tonight I sucked.
I taught my fitness class and it was a hot mess. I botched a new song. I messed up like 7 of the 16 songs. The stereo cut out on the last 4-5 songs and I had to reconnect my phone each time. I knocked my face shield off my face, and the flannel tied around my waist kept sliding off.
Old me (6+ years ago) would have lost sleep, criticized myself, felt humiliated and wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out. I would have known FOR SURE that the members in class would hate me and think I sucked.
That’s old me. NOW me knows this is part of the deal. Crap classes happen.
I’ve been teaching 8 years. I’ve had a lot of days where I came home, walked into my house and exclaimed, “I killed it tonight.” NOW me knows what the members think is none of my business. It actually has nothing to do with me. It’s only what I think that matters. And I think I’m still as awesome as I was yesterday. I’m awesome and worthy and valuable, independent of what I DO.
A crap class doesn’t negate the hundreds that I’ve slayed over the years.
A crap class doesn’t mean anything about me at all. It’s just information.
I feel disappointed. But I can do disappointment. It’s not so bad. And I can use tonight as data. I already know how to fix it for next time. It’s easy to make a plan to fix it from feeling worthy. Making a plan from self-loathing is super hard and hopeless.
Having an inner critic put you down all day is exhausting and counterproductive! Nobody wants to be around that. Don’t do that to yourself.
No matter how you show up in your life, I beg of you…take good care of you. Get your back. Be your own best cheerleader. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and commit to being kind to yourself no matter what.
Trust me on this. And come to my class next week because I’m going to slay!